The band The Black Keys has been playing non stop when I’m on the computer. I think I’ve found my new temporary music addiction.
I honestly have to say that I’m so relieved to finally be able to do my photo stuff. I haven’t been able to truly sit down and work on it because, well, I’ve been at work for 8.5 hours m-f. I know it’s only 8 hours-ish, and at that only between Monday and Friday. But the problem isn’t the time frame, it’s the work I’m doing in those hours. I’m a maintenance worker, so basically I’m a janitor. I’m a janitor that has to clean 4 buildings, walk on hard concrete / wood floors, clean 21 bathrooms AND do miscellaneous tasks in between. Every day, in an 8 hour time frame. I get a half hour break for lunch and to be honest that’s not enough. My body is terrible and being that I get one break during the day to sit and rest, when I get home I really just don’t want to do any more than sit down, eat and play video games. So that’s what I do.
Now that I’m back on part-time hours, I finally have all night to just sit here and work on things I want. I’ve even started to write again! I’m not only able to work on photos, I’m able to write, draw and work on my zombie movie. Even with the impending doom of moving to campus soon, I’m still overjoyed at the free time I have. I just wish I could see my friends a bit more, but that’s always the case.
Well, I know it’s been awhile since I’ve made any kind of real post on here but that’s because I’ve had trouble deciding what I want to write about. The question I keep asking is, “What in my life deserves the importance of a blog topic?” I’ve finally decided what that should be.
I currently have a major dilemma that I would like to bring to light. I’m not really sure who will read this or care, but at least I’m putting it out there and asking for advice. At least I’m willing to try. I have till July 5th to appeal the removal of all my financial aid(my loans) for college next semester. The problem I have is, while they are taking it away and it is definitely a bad thing, I really don’t care. I really don’t want to go back. Except, I would be an RA and live on campus which I think might be a good experience. I really should finish college, but I can’t bring myself to want to actually go back.
School has never been for me, I’ve never felt like it was where I was meant to be. I may not know what I want to do with my life, but it sure as hell isn’t more school. I liked meeting new people, learning things I didn’t know before. But it wasn’t worth it, it wasn’t worth the loans or the debt I’m now in. But it was worth the try. To me that’s what matters, that I tried it and didn’t like it. Like fucking asparagus. I tried it once, nearly puked. Clearly meant it wasn’t for me.
So what should I do? Should I appeal the loans and go back (if they even accept my appeal) or should I just not care and do what I’ve been doing?
After having a major nerd moment tonight, I have decided that I have another future dream job. I would like to be a voice actor. I came to this conclusion after realizing how good I would be at it. Everyone has always told me I’d be either a good actor, or a good comedian etc. Not quite sure why they think I would be, but I’m going to take them on their word. I’m going to end this particular post by saying, “I would be very happy if I ever did get in to this field.”
Well this is an interesting week for me. It’s the first week for me to go back to two of my classes that I’ve been away from for over a week now. I’m most likely super behind all of those classes and will fail so YAAAY. It’s also the week I get my first DSLR, I say first because I honestly feel as if I’ll get more eventually. I’m also going to attempt to make an appointment this week for my first tattoo. I have a feeling I’m going to be a big disappointment to a lot of people soon.
But I’ve realized I really don’t care. There are much worse things I could do to myself, or to others. I want to enjoy life, I want to get out of this horrible 20 year rut I’ve been in. I want to know what happiness is really like. I want to make huge fucking mistakes and learn from them. I want to do things I’ve never done before. Fuck! This is what college is supposed to be right? I’m supposed to be able to go out and enjoy life, get the wild out for the horrible fucking life ahead of me. The way I look at it I have 4 years left before I’m enlisting in the military or done with college anyway, so yeah I want to enjoy them.
That’s right ladies and gents, I decided to take the full plunge and get the Mohawk done. I attempted it before but half ass-ed it and was not happy. So I decided to go for the full blown thing and I’m loving it. I’ve got a few pictures I’ll post sooner or later but basically I’m happy with the way it came out. Now all I need is to get the tattoo for my uncle and my life will be that much better.
College starts up again on Tuesday for me, not sure if I’m excited to start again. I really should be looking for a job and focusing on that instead. Oh well I guess, parents want me to take courses so I’m doing it. Other than that not much new in my life right now.
I recently decided to upload the majority of my pictures on to my iPod so that I could look through them and upload some whenever I feel like it. However I started to search through them and look at the thousands of memories I’ve captured. While doing so I have had a few realizations.
-I have had way too many relationships.
-I miss Murray so very much.
-I have a bad memory when it comes to the names of those women.
-I hate remembering moments with certain past girlfriends.
-I miss my old best friend.
-Life really does change people.
-I am really vain and narcissistic.
-Sakavian actually used to be cute.
-I hate growing up.
So yeah, figured I’d share this since I haven’t posted anything real in awhile.